There are many things I have noticed since moving to Columbus that have caught my attention – radical college sports fanaticism, water towers, bad drivers – but perhaps the most bizarre and ridiculous (to me, a definite non-midwesterner) is the “Wash & Tan.”

So at first I’m thinking… ok, well if you’re washing your clothes, maybe you can dye them also – relating the “tan” part of the equation to some kind of weird midwestern adaptation of leather tanning but for regular clothes in a public facility.  Wrong, oh wrong I was.

For those of you not privy, a “Wash & Tan” is a place where you can wash your clothes, while tanning yourself.  Ok, I understand that this is extremely convenient, and almost necessary due to the complete lack of sunshine in this U-shaped state – but really?  I get grossed out enough by soap sud accumulation in those industrial washers.  I can’t even imagine the kind of film and nastiness that happens in said tanning beds.

Furthermore, I have never heard anyone even mention the “Wash & Tan” in conversation (or the media, or ever) which leads me to believe that -

a. people go and don’t talk about it, because it’s embarrassing (completely understood).

b. people have washing machines at home, and therefore are also really pale?

c. there is an entire demographic that i am completely foreign to, and they are the ones washing and tanning.

d. wtf?

While affirming that a “Wash & Tan” is precisely that, I came across some reviews of Ohio-area Wash & Tans.  I’d say those are self-explanatory.

Further investigation will hopefully yield geographic parameters for these establishments.  Unfortunately, I don’t know if I will ever find myself indulging in the simultaneous sudsing of my clothes and charring of my flesh.  But if you wanna go please do report back (and if you already do, we have quite a bit of catching up in store).

Happy St. Patrick’s day.